I have showered with burning water today. To see if I could burn the part of you that is part of me. The skin is red, but I can still taste your lips. Will I ever tell you how much I loved you? How much I wanted to believe I was more than a body to be felt, to be desired, to be consumed? I will miss you. I will miss the part of me I am desperately trying to tear away. It feels as if I am ripping my own flesh with my own bare hands. I want to make this promise to myself: I will be the greatest love of my life. I will be so kind to myself that I will start to believe I am worth it. Burying the memories of you will destroy me for a while, but I have survived the storm before. I will do it again. I will be my own light in this dark road ahead. I need me. I will need me. And I will be there for myself. Even in the days when I feel consumed by depression. Even in the days I will try to drown myself. Even in the days when all I want to do is to be my worst enemy. I will cry it out. I will give myself a hug in the end. Stroke my own hair. Eat chocolate. Feel warm. Feel myself breathe. And I will know I am alive despite it all.